


Trainwreck

by akiiteru



Series: praestolatio [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: F/F, Fem!Rin/Fem!Sousuke, mentions of kou, momo is a big dork, protect sousuke yamazaki 2k14, sexual content is mentioned, someone please help these hormonal teenagers, this one has a lot of angst sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 23:06:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akiiteru/pseuds/akiiteru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin flopped onto her back beside Sousuke, so close yet still <i>just</i> out of reach, and it suddenly became obvious that it was one of <i>those days</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trainwreck

**Author's Note:**

> part two of _praestolatio_
> 
> part one: [cadence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2290085) (makoharu)

Rin burst into the room she shared with Sousuke in a huff, overly dramatic as always. Her swim team jacket was tied in a loose knot around her waist, and she was wearing sweatpants instead of her uniform. 

“I’m getting _slower_ ,” Rin snapped. “I missed my best time by two full seconds.”

Sousuke looked up from the book she was reading. “You were practicing?”

“Duh.” Rin collapsed onto the bottom bunk, making the bed shake. “You should, too.”

Sousuke didn’t respond, rubbing her shoulder nervously. She’d already skipped practice twice that week, and she was running out of ways to get out of it. 

She was lucky that Rin remained oblivious to her injury. It wouldn’t stay that way forever, though.

“I’m behind on my studies,” Sousuke said weakly. It wasn’t a great excuse, but it was all she could think of.

“Really?” Rin sounded surprised. “What class? I can help you, you know.” 

“Uh, Literature,” Sousuke lied.

Rin groaned. “Count me out, then. I suck at Literature.” She paused for a moment, then sat up so quickly she nearly hit her head on the top bunk. 

“Makoto is really good at Literature! I know you don’t know her very well, but she could definitely tutor you. After all, we can’t afford it if you miss too many practices just because of _grades_. You’re really important for our relay team. So I can text Makoto, if you’d like.”

Sousuke silently cursed her bad luck. She was digging herself deeper and deeper into a hole the more she lied to Rin, and it was far too late to get out of it.

“You don’t have to do that,” she muttered. Rin apparently didn’t hear her, because she continued to ramble about how much the team allegedly needed Sousuke in order to win. 

The guilt felt like a five-ton weight on Sousuke’s chest. She hated being depended on, especially by her friends.

The background noise of Rin’s chatter was suddenly gone, and Sousuke realized that Rin had just asked her a question.

“U-uh, what?” she stuttered.

Rin’s head popped up over the side of the bunk. Her eyes were wide with concern.

“Are you okay?”

Sousuke remained adamant, simply nodding.

Rin, unconvinced, pulled herself all the way onto the top bunk. It was crowded, and her legs were pressed against Sousuke’s side, making the latter girl blush.

“I don’t believe you,” Rin insisted. She had a devilish glint in her eyes beneath the worry, and it made Sousuke wary.

Before she could react, Sousuke was being pinned to the bed and Rin’s fingers were scrambling at her sides. She was _tickling_ her. Sousuke gritted her teeth and tried as hard as she could to keep a calm façade, but she wasn’t quite sure why. Perhaps it was just to spite Rin.

Rin’s face broke into a smirk at the obvious effort Sousuke was putting in to stay cool and collected. The taller girl kept a straight face for as long as she could, but it was inevitable that she would break. Finally, she let herself fall into peals of laughter. The stress that had been building up inside of her, along with the pain in her shoulder, melted in an instant.

Rin stopped and grinned triumphantly. “That’s better, you big grump!”

Sousuke smiled, despite herself. Rin truly knew her too well.

Rin flopped onto her back beside Sousuke, and it suddenly became obvious that it was one of _those days_. When Rin would get too close, when her gazes would linger for a second longer than usual. It happened every once and a while, and it had been happening since they were children.

Like when Rin kissed Sousuke on the cheek after she won a race back at Sano. Neither of them had thought much of it at the time, but when Rin was about to leave for Australia and Sousuke had the urge to do the same thing, she sensed that it was abnormal. So she didn’t.

When Sousuke came to Samezuka, it took a little while for things to get back to normal. “Normal” being their hands brushing together when they walked side-by-side, and their words to each other being too gentle. It was like their childish, affectionate natures had returned in full swing.

After a few weeks as roommates, Rin had kissed Sousuke and told her that she missed her. 

They shared a bed every once and a while, usually Rin’s. It didn’t take long for Sousuke to recognize her chemistry with Rin; they fit together perfectly. Somehow, though, their emotional intimacy was greatly lacking.

By the end of the second month, Rin had her clawing at the sheets, with a pillow clutched to her face to muffle her moans. Rin learned quickly, and soon knew exactly what left Sousuke breathless. Yet she was still at a loss for words when the situation required knowledge of each other on an emotional level. All they talked about together was swimming, school, and more swimming. Sousuke knew everything there was to know about Rin’s dream college, swimming style, even her favorite brand of _goggles_ , but that knowledge only got her so far in a relationship that was progressing too fast for the good of either of them.

Sousuke was becoming more and more anxious to know exactly what Rin’s feelings were.

The two girls stayed still for a while, just staring at the ceiling and reveling in each other’s company. 

Sousuke felt Rin’s hand brush against hers. Slowly but surely, their fingers tangled together. Rin’s skin was dry from constant exposure to chlorine, and Sousuke’s palms were sweaty, but it felt nice anyway. Rin’s thumb caressed the side of Sousuke’s palm, almost hesitantly. It made Sousuke’s heart swell nearly to the point of bursting and it hit her like a pound of bricks just how _in love_ she was. 

The thought frightened her. The idea that she had so much emotional investment in a single person was downright terrifying. Rin’s touch suddenly felt like fire, and Sousuke flinched. 

Everything had begun so quickly, and it fell apart twice as fast. Rin’s hand recoiled. The fragile balance that had been reached was shattered. Sousuke _almost_ reached out, _almost_ whispered an apology. 

But almost wasn’t good enough, and Rin slid off the bed and was out the door before Sousuke could do a thing. The loud slam of the door echoed through the room, the only remainder of Rin’s presence. 

It took a moment for Sousuke to fully realize what had happened. That was usually the time when the tears would come, but she didn’t feel anything except a cold emptiness.

She glanced over at the clock on her desk. It was surprisingly late, and she realized that she hadn’t eaten dinner. Right on queue, her stomach growled angrily. The dining hall was closed at that point, though, and Sousuke didn’t want to risk running into Rin in the hallway. Instead, she pulled her comforter over herself and waited for Rin to come back.

\- - -

Sousuke was half-asleep by the time the door creaked open. Rin slipped furtively into the room, not even giving Sousuke a second glance before lying down on the lower bunk. It was silent for what seemed like an eternity, save for the two girls’ soft breathing. 

Finally, Sousuke gathered up the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry, Rin.”

Rin’s breath hitched, but she didn’t respond.

Sousuke couldn’t make herself say anything more. Maybe she was too proud, or perhaps scared. It didn’t matter in the end, not when Rin was so obviously ignoring her. She thought that things had been going well. In actuality, their relationship had been shaky, so much so that the slightest hint of discomfort could ruin it.

The fact that Rin was treading so carefully around her, like she was _afraid_ , was like a swift stab to the heart. 

So Sousuke decided to stop trying. At least, for the night.

\- - -

Sousuke and Rin had classes together the next day. Sousuke was prepared to be ignored, but Rin had smiled at her at breakfast and seemed to be pretending that the events of the night before never happened. 

Their classes went as they usually did. At lunch, Rin gave Sousuke a handful of heart-shaped cookies. They were too sweet, but it was a comforting gesture anyway and Sousuke savored each one.

Even though things had been going smoothly, Sousuke’s dread of swim practice that night was building. She couldn’t disappoint Rin, and the team, again. But it would be worse for them to see her shoulder collapse and realize that she was a filthy liar. She’d probably be kicked off of the team. Maybe she’d be forced to leave the school. It would certainly be the end of whatever she had with Rin.

After the last class of the day, which the two girls had together, Sousuke made a shaky excuse about needing to talk to a teacher about her grades. Rin nodded, though hesitant, and made her promise to meet her at the pool.

Sousuke promised with her fingers crossed behind her back. 

After Rin had walked away out of view, Sousuke headed to the guidance office in a split-second decision.

“Hello,” the guidance counselor, Ms. Akiyama, said cheerfully. “Are you here to talk to me?”

Sousuke nodded. She seated herself in the uncomfortable plastic chair in front of the guidance counselor’s desk.

“So, what’s up?” 

Ms. Akiyama was young, probably in her mid-twenties, with blond hair in a high ponytail and pink-framed eyeglasses. She was very upbeat, and a favorite of many Samezuka students. 

Sousuke shrugged. “I have a crush, I guess.”

“Ooh, what’s his name?” Ms. Akiyama inquired. She hesitated. “Or _her_ name.”

Sousuke panicked for a moment. “Um…”

Ms. Akiyama sensed her discomfort. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Just explain your dilemma.”

“Well, I don’t think it’s requited,” Sousuke said quietly.

“Ooh.” Ms. Akiyama sounded like she’d just heard a particularly juicy piece of gossip. “I can see why that’s a problem.”

Sousuke was silent for a while, not able to think of anything else to say. Ms. Akiyama drummed her bright pink fingernails on her desk.

“That’s all I have to talk about,” Sousuke muttered. “To be honest, I’m kind of avoiding someone right now.”

The guidance counselor nodded in understanding. “You can stay here for as long as you like.”

Sousuke glanced around the room, fidgeting. Ms. Akiyama got back to whatever paperwork was on her desk. Minutes ticked by slowly on the grandfather clock in the back of the room, reminding Sousuke how difficult it would be to avoid Rin for the full two hours of practice. 

Another handful of minutes passed. Sousuke finally decided that she couldn’t waste Ms. Akiyama’s time any longer, so she stood and kindly excused herself. She was warmly welcomed back to the guidance office any time, but whether or not she would accept the offer in the future wasn’t definite. After all, Sousuke was a very private person, and not one to expect her problems to be fixed by anyone else.

Sousuke walked out of the room and immediately slammed into something. She turned and found herself face-to-face with an all-too-familiar redhead.

“Hi, Yamazaki-senpai!” Momotaru said brightly. “I was looking for you!”

The younger girl was wearing nothing but a bright orange and yellow swimsuit and the Samezuka team jacket. Sousuke gave her a strained smile. 

Before Sousuke could say anything, Momotaru started talking again.

“Rin-senpai told me to find you, because you weren’t at practice and she’s worried that you’re sick or something. So I went looking but I got distracted because there was a HUGE stag beetle on a tree outside so of course I _had_ to catch it but it was really tricky and I had to chase it around for a while and then I-“

Sousuke looked out the window, tuning out Momotaru’s endless chatter. Her heart had skipped a beat when she heard that Rin was worried about her, and she was disappointed in herself for it. 

It was a gusty day, making the trees outside sway back and forth. Sousuke watched a small group of girls walk by outside, shivering in their summer uniforms due to the cold wind. It had been a rather disappointing summer in Sousuke’s opinion, since it had rained far too much. Now fall was slowly but surely approaching, making the temperature drop even more.

“-so basically that’s why it took so long to find you!” Momotaru continued, poking Sousuke’s shoulder. The older girl snapped her attention back to the conversation at hand.

“But it was totally worth it because this is probably the biggest stag beetle I’ve ever caught!” Momotaru held up a jar that she had apparently been holding behind her back for the entire conversation and shoved it uncomfortably close to Sousuke’s face. 

“Why didn’t Rin come find me herself?” Sousuke asked quietly, not really expecting an answer. Momotaru, however, was apparently fully prepared to explain everything.

“Well, I had the same question so I asked her and she got all flustered and told me to hurry up, so I guess she’s just embarrassed or something. I don’t really mind helping her out, so it’s all good! If I do things for her she might let me talk to her brother. You’re friends with Kou-san, right? Can you talk to him for me? I really want to show him this awesome beetle I caught.”

Momotaru’s enthusiasm was endearing enough to make Sousuke consider it. She nodded, and laughed softly when the redhead cheered and thanked her. 

“Now go tell Rin that I found you! I have to go put Kei here in my room,” Momotaru said, gesturing to the stag beetle. 

Then Momotaru was running away down the hall, and Sousuke began to prepare herself to face Rin. 

She considered just avoiding Rin even more and sneaking off to the library. It was a cowardly move, however, and she had to save at least some of her integrity if she was expecting Rin to forgive her. 

She finally decided that the best option was just going to practice and seeing how long her shoulder would hold up. She could hide her pain pretty well when she needed to. 

The real problem, then, was sneaking into practice without drawing too much attention to herself. Rin would be upset, obviously, and Sousuke needed some way to avoid being chewed out in front of the whole team.

She could say that she wasn’t feeling well, but that would just make Rin worry. Lying about doing poorly in school again wouldn’t cut it, especially after she rejected Rin’s offer to get her help. 

Sousuke settled on faking a headache. She could say that she went to the nurse’s office for pain medicine, and then make up a sob story about wanting to practice and help the team through her pain. Rin was a sucker for things like that.

No sooner had she decided exactly what to say, she looked up and saw Rin standing at the end of the hallway. The color drained from Sousuke’s face in the realization that she was royally _screwed_. Her whole plan fell apart in an instant. Rin could see her standing idly in the hallway in front of the guidance office, so there was no way to weasel her way out of the situation.

Rin looked angry at first, then worried, then a weird combination of the two that was both saddening and frightening.

Sousuke felt her eyes well up with tears, and tried her best to keep them from spilling over. She couldn’t let herself fall apart and look so weak in front of Rin.

Still, when Rin approached her and asked her gently, too gently, what was wrong, she had no chance.

She cracked, letting the tears stream down her cheeks. Rin’s reaction was immediate. She pulled Sousuke into a tight hug, frantic but comforting at the same time. 

Sousuke’s shoulders shook with her loud sobs. She was so ashamed, she couldn’t _believe_ she was letting herself break in front of Rin. 

“Hey, hey,” Rin hushed her gently, brushing hair out of her eyes. “Shhh. You’re okay.”

Sousuke just sniffed and let her arms dangle at her sides. Her sobs slowly petered out, and only silent tears remained. Rin’s hands rubbed slow circles on her back. It was soothing, but Sousuke just stood in frigid silence, more disgusted with herself that she’d ever been in her life. 

“Is this about last night?” Rin asked cautiously.

Sousuke shook her head. It was more than that; it was everything that had been building up for months and suddenly came crashing down. She knew that something had to change eventually, but despite that it was still a shock.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been skipping practice because of me.” Rin’s voice was pained. 

It wasn’t entirely true, but Sousuke was too broken up to deny it. It would raise questions, and the only thing that could make her situation worse was Rin finding out about her shoulder.

Rin sighed. “God, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Sousuke said nothing.

“I’ll do anything, I’ll _stop_ doing anything you want, just don’t let me get in the way of your future. _Please_.” Rin was getting desperate and it only made Sousuke’s chest hurt more.

“Do you want me to stop, Sousuke?” Rin’s voice wavered on the last syllable, but she didn’t break eye contact.

“No,” Sousuke said stubbornly. “I don’t.”

Rin’s eyes widened.

“I just need to know if you mean it,” Sousuke continued, trying to keep her voice steady. “I don’t want this to be just a physical thing.”

Rin’s breath stuttered, and she was looking at Sousuke in _disbelief_. 

A few moments passed, mostly in silence, broken only by a door slamming somewhere across the building. Sousuke’s heart was beating almost painfully fast. Her face was so close to Rin’s that she could feel her breath against her lips.

Rin finally closed the gap, softly but with a hint of urgency that was shared by Sousuke. It wasn’t their first kiss, not by a long shot, but it was the first time Sousuke truly felt an emotional aspect to it. She kissed back, and it seemed, by the slight jolt of her shoulders, that it surprised Rin. 

Rin’s lips were the stuff of dreams, soft and tentative yet still demanding more and _more_ until they consumed Sousuke’s thoughts and dictated her every move.

She barely managed to pull away before she was so far gone that it would be impossible to back out.

Rin reached up and cradled Sousuke’s cheeks in her hands. “I love you. Honest to God. I wouldn’t lie about this to you, trust me.”

Sousuke tried to say it back. She knew how much it would mean to Rin, and she knew that _not_ saying it would put a rift between them.

As much as she needed to, she had absolutely no ability to. Her words were sticking in her throat, and her heart sank when Rin’s eyes narrowed at the lack of a response.

But Rin was still smiling, more patient than Sousuke could ever hope for her to be. 

It gave her hope that someday, she’d be able to reciprocate Rin’s feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> this got way longer than i wanted it to lol
> 
> sorry this took like 3 years to write i fucked my hand up really bad playing soccer and its hard to type
> 
> talk to me: akiiteru.tumblr.com


End file.
